St. Joseph's Children's Hospital of Tampa — Starting Out Healthy

Never Shake a Baby

When you’re frustrated, take a break and seek help

Photo of mother holding baby; Models used for illustrative purposes onlyYour baby is crying and fussing, and nothing seems to calm him or her down. You’re becoming more and more upset by the minute, and you’re at a loss for what to do.

“When you start to feel frustrated, put the baby down,” said St. Joseph’s Children’s Steinbrenner Emergency/Trauma Center Pediatrician Manuel Carmona, M.D. “Call a friend, have a cup of tea, do something else.”

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics Section on Child Abuse and Neglect (SOCAN), between 1,200 and 1,500 children die in America each year from being shaken violently or pushed into something by frustrated parents and caretakers.

SOCAN reports that for every one child who sustains a serious injury as a result of shaking, an estimated 150 children may be shaken and go undetected.

“Children are brought in with lethargy and vomiting, and while those are symptoms of shaken baby syndrome, they can also stem from a host of other problems,” said Dr. Carmona. “Very few people come forward to say that they’ve violently shaken a baby or impacted the child against an object.”

We hear about babies’ deaths when they make news. We don’t hear about the other problems.

“The blindness, mental retardation, severe mood swings later on can be from repeated abusive head trauma that occurred sometime earlier,” said Dr. Carmona.

It is never ever OK to shake a baby. Make sure that all the people who care for your baby know this. That includes friends, boyfriends and even the father — not just babysitters. Never leave your baby alone with someone who you know has an anger problem or violent temper.

“I find myself amazed at how cavalier some parents are with caretakers,” Dr. Carmona said.

When you’re frustrated, Dr. Carmona recommends:

  • Put the baby in a safe place and do something else. Take some deep breaths. Do something to relax, like listen to music, wash your face or stretch. Check on the baby every five to 10 minutes. It is OK for babies to cry — it is normal and it won’t hurt them.
  • Ask a trusted friend or relative to watch the baby while you take a walk or do something else out of the home.
  • Contact a community mental health group, child abuse agency or Parents Anonymous (parentsanonymous.org). Be honest about your level of frustration.